Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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