I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
