this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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