if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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