i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
