Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
