so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
