West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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