And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
