i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
no you cant smoke seaweed
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
