I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
