i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
