Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.

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(425): View more from Washington

i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.

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(+82): View more from

I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.

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(626): View more from California

a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms

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(714): View more from California

when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow

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(623): View more from Arizona

No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"

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(510): View more from California

this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.

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(206): View more from Washington

yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey

(1-206): View more from Washington

Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.

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