Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Terrible idea I love it
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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