"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
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