How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
