just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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