I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
