There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My vagina just recognized that song.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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