I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
