She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
