Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
