dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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