the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
