dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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