idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Couch. On fire.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
