Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
