also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
do herpes really smell.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
