I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
