sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
