doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
