My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
