I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
