well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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