dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
