names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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