I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
