he was CRYING into my vagina
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
