we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
wow bdsm is so cute
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
