K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
