You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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