Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
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