just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
