we have pet lesbian snakes
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
