how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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