Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
