38 yer olds are good kisserssss
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
