At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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