I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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