what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
