Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
