Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
and she was petting her beer can
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
