I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
