i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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