Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
