YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
